


it's just you and i tonight

by starkidpatronus



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Attractive, Best Friends, F/F, Femslash February, Femslash February 2018, Intimacy, Light Angst, Modern Era, POV Third Person, POV Third Person Limited, Prompt Fic, i guess idk how others define these subjective terms, prompt: attractive, well...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 14:21:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13549173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkidpatronus/pseuds/starkidpatronus
Summary: “I’m not sure I understand.”“What’s confusing about it?” Gwen challenges as she calmly sips her tea, sitting on the sofa to the right of Morgana.“Try all of it,” Morgana replies, staring and wondering how Gwen can possibly be so serene right now. “You want us to…You want me to…?”“I want to have sex with you,” Gwen repeats easily. “However you want to do that.”“What about Leon?”“Leon isn’t here.”“And?” she nudged. “So what? You’re still with him.”“Technically.”





	it's just you and i tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Femslash February!! I'm gonna' try to write a femslash for every day this month! Today, one of my favorite femslash ships, very near and dear to my heart, I could talk about them forever. Frankly, I don't know how it's taken me this long to write a fic about them.
> 
> Title taken from "Heart Out" by The 1975.

                “I’m not sure I understand.”

                “What’s confusing about it?” Gwen challenges as she calmly sips her tea, sitting on the sofa to the right of Morgana.

                “Try all of it,” Morgana replies, staring and wondering how Gwen can possibly be so serene right now. “You want us to…You want _me_ to…?”

                “I want to have sex with you,” Gwen repeats easily. “However you want to do that.”

                “I— _Why?_ ”

                “I’ve already told you why!” she says, annoyance starting to show in the cracks of her expression. “I’m bored and I want to experiment!”

                “I am not just some fucking experiment,” Morgana spits, gaze hard.

                Gwen sighs. “That’s not what I meant. Jesus, no need to be so sensitive.”

                Morgana considers responding to that, considers telling Gwen that she’s already been an experiment for another girl she was in love with and that all went to hell, considers telling Gwen that she refuses to risk that with her, considers telling Gwen that she _refuses_ to be a random “experiment,” a quirky story to tell at cocktail parties once she’s married to Leon.

                Leon.

                Instead of saying any of that, she asks, “What about Leon?”

                “Leon isn’t here.”

                “And?” she nudged. “So what? You’re still with him.”

                “Technically.”

                “What does ‘technically’ mean?”

                “It means…we’re… _sort of_ on a break.”

                “How are you sort of on a break?” Morgana asks, head swimming with all the information being thrown at her at once. “You’re either on a break or you’re not.”

                “We’re not broken up,” Gwen says, as if that clarifies anything.

                “Then what are you?” Morgana pushes, trying desperately to keep up.

                “We’re…trying out an open relationship,” Gwen explains. “On a two-week basis.”

                “So…you have two weeks to sleep with whoever you want to sleep with,” Morgana says slowly, attempting to get a grasp on all this, “and then you report back to each other?”

                “One week,” Gwen corrects.

                “You just said you were doing this on a two-week basis.”

                “We are.”

                “Gwen, a bit of consistency here would be greatly appreciated.”

                “One week is already up,” she says, looking down into her tea-cup. “There’s one week left.”

                “I see,” Morgana says shortly. Bitterly. “You’ve already shagged all your viable male options, and now you’re bored.”

                “No, actually,” Gwen says, still looking down, her cheeks becoming flushed, “I’ve needed the past week to work up my courage to ask you.”

                And that—that gives Morgana reason to pause.

                “Why?”

                “’Cause I was scared.”

                “But _why?_ ”

                “I didn’t know how you’d react!” Gwen bursts out, eyes earnest. “Especially not when you heard about the whole—situation. You were the first person I wanted to tell all about it; I mean, you’re my best friend, but I also—I wanted to do this with you. And I didn’t know how to ask.”

                Morgana sighs, looking at Gwen, realizing for the first time that the confidence she displayed earlier was probably more than a little faked. “Well, you have now.”

                “Yes,” she agrees. “I have.”

                “I just—” Morgana sighs, sitting back in her chair, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t know what to say to this, Gwen.”

                “Which part?”

                “Any of it.”

                “Maybe say yes?”

                She huffs out a humorless laugh. “If only it were that easy.”

                “Why can’t it be?” Gwen whines, setting her tea-cup and saucer down, pulling her legs up under herself on the sofa. “What’s wrong? Do you not find me attractive?”

                " _No,_ " Morgana says, looking up at at a God she doesn't believe in for guidance as she lives her worst hell. "No,  _God_ , no, that's not it." Morgana should know, after all the times she's caught herself staring at the place where Gwen's neck meets her shoulder, at the curve of Gwen's spine, at Gwen's curls catching the light beautifully. And, yes, the glances Morgana's allowed herself whenever Gwen's worn dresses that were more...revealing, desire flaring inside her as she downs another glass of Chardonnay and tells herself to calm down. No, that is not the problem; Morgana  _definitely_ finds Gwen attractive.

                "Then what is it?" Gwen asks urgently. "What's holding you back?"

                Morgana bites her tongue, which is treacherous enough to want to tell the whole truth. _Better not_ , she tells herself.

                But the truth still yearns to be spoken, so Morgana settles on saying half of it. “There was a girl in uni who…told me she wanted to experiment. And I said yes. And…it all went to shit. And I’d rather not have that happen here.”

                “It won’t,” Gwen promises, scooching over, close enough to take Morgana’s hand in her own. Morgana closes her eyes, willing herself not to cave to the touch that captures all her attention, yet is not nearly enough. “You have to believe me.”

                Morgana hates the way her voice breaks when she asks, “Why?”

                “Because we’re best friends,” Gwen answers, “and we’d never let anything ruin that.”

                Morgana merely smiles ruefully, looking up at the ceiling misty-eyed and swallowing _hard_. Memories of these same words being said to her from years ago drift back to her, as if on a cloud. A voice in her head asks, annoyed, _Are you really going to fall for this again?_

Penelope’s voice had been soothing too. Penelope had held her hand too. Penelope had promised, and promised, and promised too. And Morgana had been weak.

                But Penelope hadn’t run her fingers over Morgana’s knuckles, like Gwen is doing now. And Penelope’s voice hadn’t bent around her words the same way Gwen’s does. And Penelope—Penelope _wasn’t_ Gwen.

                _They’re all the same_ , that same voice in her head informs her, and maybe it’s right.

                “Morgana,” comes Gwen’s voice, and then Gwen’s other hand is under her chin, turning Morgana’s head towards her. “Morgana, come on, open your eyes. Please.”

                Morgana sighs; resistance is futile. She opens her eyes, blinking back tears as Gwen looks steadily back at her. There’s a moment when they’re just _looking_ at each other, and Morgana’s mouth is dry as a canvas. One she desperately wants Gwen to paint on.

                Gwen gives her a small smile, and Morgana’s resolve shatters.

                “All right,” she relents, hating herself. “All right, let’s do it.”

_You know I’m right_ , the voice insists as Gwen’s face breaks into a full-on, heart-stopping grin. _They’re_ all _the same_. Morgana mutes it. Gwen is different. Gwen has always been different.

                She’s prattling on about where they should do it, and how, and does Morgana use dental dams? Because Gwen is totally fine with it if she does and—

                Morgana kisses her. It’s soft, and light, and brief. It’s enough to get Morgana reeling, though. More than enough.

                Gwen’s eyes are still closed when Morgana pulls away, hand still on Gwen’s cheek.

                “Sorry,” she murmurs, remaining close. “I just—I thought that’d be the best way to break the ice.” She doesn’t say she did it because she’d wanted to since long before Leon came into the picture, and now she finally could. She doesn’t say a lot of things.

                “’S fine,” Gwen whispers back, eyes still closed, hands frozen in the air in front of her. “Could—could we do it again?”

                Morgana can’t help the smile that overtakes her face when she answers, “Of course,” and leans back in.

                This time, it lasts longer. Still slow, _painfully_ slow, Morgana letting Gwen take the lead. Gwen takes her time, moving her lips against Morgana’s. Then, hesitantly, she licks the seam of Morgana’s lips; Morgana opens them readily, and Gwen slips her tongue in. Morgana moans brokenly into Gwen’s mouth, and Gwen smiles against her lips.

                It’s surreal, and life-changing, and wholly encompassing, but it’s also…almost…normal, in a way. Like it’s something they’ve been doing forever. Their bodies seem to know each other from somewhere, and are only now getting reacquainted. It's in how Gwen seems to know just how to flick her tongue to drive Morgana wild, how Morgana's fingers skating across Gwen's neck make Gwen shudder.

                It’s so achingly overwhelming, Morgana barely feels her heart break at the knowledge that it will all be gone tomorrow.

                _At least I’ll have tonight_ , she tells herself, giving into the sensations more fully as she runs a hand boldly down Gwen’s arm and up her shirt. Gwen gasps faintly, but doesn’t stop her. _We’ll always have tonight_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! Let me know what you thought! And if you have a prompt/couple you want me to write this month, let me know either in the comments or at my tumblr, thewriternotthemuse!


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